emo bullshit that i wrote on word in 5 minutes. instead of phenomenal poem i lost on tumblr
Writing keeps me sane. The way you feel about your loved ones is the same way I feel about the material I write. It soothes me and makes me feel that I am not alone. Even though it is from my own mind, it feels as though the words just flow and form into something that makes me feel loved. I have been abused and witnessed It all my life, and these written words have been the ones that have always supported me. I was typing a great poem for a friend of mine that was going thru hard times. I could not think of what to say to her, I only knew to write about how she felt. The work came directly from my heart and showed how she really felt about the situation. It was turning out to be a great piece of material but I haphazardly deleted it. I don’t know why I was typing it directly onto tumblr anyway. But what is done is done. It hurts to see those words leave, never to be brought together again so easily. It was a jolt to my spirit and I cried, punched things, cursed my stupidity and resented not being able to help. But through me losing that I learned first of all to never write directly on a website. And that I may not be able to help everyone like I want. It tears me up that I am not able to but the world is not made for one person to solve everybody’s problems. It is unachievable. Its sad how what I write possibly means more to me than people. But there are few who are an exception. Although I do care for everyone, I will not die for them like I would my career and my best friends. In retrospect this seems rather emo. And this is all because I deleted a poem. Judge me all you want. I don’t care about your trivial opinion of my own personality. (I guess this is my version of the famous Kanye West rants)
